Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by zeugma on January 1, 2004, at 23:37:45
I've had a very bad time during these holidays. Having to see people out of a work-related context (i.e., socially) usually triggers severe dysphoria in me, with the exception of times spent with certain friends, on a strictly one-on-one basis, where limits are strictly enforced. Parties depress me, because I tend to feel overstimulated for days afterward by the presence of large groups of people, and also by my realization of how distorted my behavior is by the AvPD. This doesn't happen when I interact one-on-one with the friends I have known for years. Unfortunately, holidays are all about parties and large social gatherings, and I went to some Christmas parties, which meant I was totally depleted by New year's Eve.
Oddly, however, I don't mind work-related interaction at all (at least since I started taking Klonopin). I have good communication skills, and I DO enjoy being around others, but ONLY if certain conditions are met (i.e., it's work-related interaction, or interaction related to a 'special interest' I have like literature.) It's kind of ridiculous, because I find that I enjoy a job with higher, not lower, levels of social interaction (maybe to compensate for my inability to interact in non-work situations?) And I feel like times when I don't go to work (like these holidays) cause me to become horribly depressed. I thought maybe the Klonopin was making me depressed, but I stopped taking it a few days ago and still felt like crap, with the added bonus that i felt like a freak when I went to the grocery store. So I started taking it again today.
I should add that I've tried CBT and it was anxiogenic for me. The problem is that outside of work I don't feel like I have a life.
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on January 5, 2004, at 16:16:01
In reply to avoidant personality disorder and holidays, posted by zeugma on January 1, 2004, at 23:37:45
> Oddly, however, I don't mind work-related interaction at all (at least since I started taking Klonopin).
-----------I find this too. I think that it's because I know I'm being evaluated on a professional skills level, of which I have ample confidence.
>The problem is that outside of work I don't feel like I have a life.
-----------Not an uncommon complaint, I'm sure. Maybe there's some middle ground between work and parties, like a club of some sort. When you're in a group of people organized for the explicit purpose of some hobby they all share, communication is a lot easier.
One of the more useful bits of info I've learned lately is that you don't have to do much to impress people. You don't have to impress them at all, actually. Don't fret about being witty or relevant or anything. Most talk is reflexive social chatter, and the less you intimidate people by breaking this system, the more they initially like you. Most people are simple.
Posted by Omega Woman on January 6, 2004, at 5:14:58
In reply to avoidant personality disorder and holidays, posted by zeugma on January 1, 2004, at 23:37:45
I think I spoke to you under the thread about sexual identity, Really bad for handles..I might even have written to you about moving context to help with the relationship problems..well it did it for me !!...Anyway well those things you decribe about people and avoiding and groups was me, but I soon started to get fed up with one on one interactions with friends. I would get fed up with the same topics people being the same, gettting stopped from veering of and playing my piano or whatever, by the fact someone had come to talk etc etc..
Yes stage 2 to getting social, I have these overwhelming desire to phone someone else to come and join us when someone vists..its great I can just stand back and let others blab away, now I can potter about like i usually do and all this focus isn demanded of me.
Threes a crowd ? Not with me its two people blabbing while someone with avoidant disorder getting a break. having said all this, i'm thinking maybe my meds really are working, i'm quite happy to be in a group of 3. And if i'm really up for it who knows. Of course my meds are working and i'm taking holidays too. Never used to travel..
Posted by zeugma on January 6, 2004, at 19:01:22
In reply to Re: avoidant personality disorder and holidays » zeugma, posted by Omega Woman on January 6, 2004, at 5:14:58
What meds are you taking? (I know that's a redirect) Yes eventually I'll move, when I'm able to get away from this town I've spent my life in. I've been too debilitated for all these years to even think about getting away. my meds incidentally are 'working'- i actually have a real job and get much less anxiety in elevators.
This is the end of the thread.
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