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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Reggie BoStar on November 22, 2006, at 0:23:03
Well, here we go again. A family dinner looming; 3 hour drive to get there through some of the worst traffic in the country, some people I should see, some I'd rather not, and sick over it. I'm sure I don't need to go into details over what "sick" is in this forum.
I wish I could just cut that chord and not go without guilt feelings but it seems the only way to keep that guilt away is to suffer for a day in a place I'd rather not be. The aftermath is always the same - empty, nothing accomplished - but not guilty, just regretting I went.
This is all old news to a lot of people no doubt. A lot of us have been here before. I just had to post and let off some steam.
It's too late now, but tomorrow I'm going to call by sister and back off. I've been advised by my pdoc that if I do bail out, I should at least notify my sister ahead of time, rather than leave her hanging until Thursday morning.
This is one of those situations that has no easy way out, just another depressing situation for people like me to get through somehow.
What's unsaid between me and them is that the only reason I stay alive is to keep from devastating them. I don't think they realize how much
work that is. But if I outlive them, the moment they're gone I'm gone too, and good riddance to this complete waste of time. When I wasn't disappointing or hurting someone in some way, I was doing nothing. Not one thing at all.Whenever I hear some head-in-the-clouds fanatic, or "conversations with God" enthusiast, say something like "don't worry, (insert deity
name here) has a plan for you," the stock reply is "yeah, the plan is to be born, feel like crap for 50 some-odd years, do absolutely nothing else, and die. Great plan."Shuts 'em up every time.
Posted by muffled on November 22, 2006, at 6:34:55
In reply to Thanksgiving,, as usual, posted by Reggie BoStar on November 22, 2006, at 0:23:03
Sorry holidays are hard fir you, I hate holidays too.
Hope you feel better some soon.
I was somewhat offended by:>Whenever I hear some head-in-the-clouds fanatic, or "conversations with God" enthusiast, say something like "don't worry, (insert deity
name here) has a plan for you," the stock reply is "yeah, the plan is to be born, feel like crap for 50 some-odd years, do absolutely nothing else, and die. Great plan."Shuts 'em up every time.
Its very sad to hear you've given up so. I am a religious person, and my religion has helped me a great deal. Some religious deity may or may not have a plan for me, but my deity has given me FREE WILL. And I can make CHOICES. I can choose to give up, or I can choose to keep fighting, and try to bring some small good into this world.
I hope you can choose to see the little things of beauty in this world RBS. Do some kindnessess. See smiles. Let them warm your cold tormented heart. There IS good out there. Sometimes its just hard to see it thru our pain.
Take care,
Muffled
Posted by Declan on November 22, 2006, at 13:16:41
In reply to Thanksgiving,, as usual, posted by Reggie BoStar on November 22, 2006, at 0:23:03
Whenever I hear some head-in-the-clouds fanatic, or "conversations with God" enthusiast, say something like "don't worry, (insert deity
name here) has a plan for you," the stock reply is "yeah, the plan is to be born, feel like crap for 50 some-odd years, do absolutely nothing else, and die. Great plan."Shuts 'em up every time.
Reggie, if you came to Christmas here, you could keep me entertained. That's the kind of conversation I'm looking for and never get, except if I start it myself. It wouldn't shut me up.
Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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