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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 14:33:18
I hope this will be my last post about my ex T and the termination and my struggles. I want to move on. Maybe once in a while I will remember and feel bad, but not so constantly. I am done with it.
Strangely, today it is exact 6 months after my ex T sent me a termination mail - I didn't plan it, but it so happened. !! It is about time I move on.
He was allright - some good things, some bad things - in some ways he was an extremely good person and a good T and in some way, he was an extremely awful person and an awful T - like everyone else. But he is just human - like me, and no better, no worse. In a way, I am glad he made all these mistakes with me - it made me realize my own worth by knowing that everyone is just as good/ or as bad as me.
I felt it will be good to close it. That chapter is over now.
Posted by Tamar on July 26, 2005, at 15:43:08
In reply to My Last Post about my EX T., posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 14:33:18
Hey Pinkeye,
It's good to see that you're making so much progress with your ex-T issues.
> He was allright - some good things, some bad things - in some ways he was an extremely good person and a good T and in some way, he was an extremely awful person and an awful T - like everyone else. But he is just human - like me, and no better, no worse. In a way, I am glad he made all these mistakes with me - it made me realize my own worth by knowing that everyone is just as good/ or as bad as me.
I really like what you said there. It makes so much sense.
> I felt it will be good to close it. That chapter is over now.
Do you feel that doing termination with your current T is helping you to process the termination with your ex-T? It sounds as if you're making a lot of progress at the moment.
I was thinking about you earlier today and wondering when you're gonig back to India... Is it very soon? Will you still be able to post here?
Tamar
Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 16:35:29
In reply to Re: My Last Post about my EX T. » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on July 26, 2005, at 15:43:08
Thanks Tamar.
How was your vacation? I missed you !!. Did you have a good time?
Perhaps my termination with my current T is helping me get some closure with my ex T as well. With my current T, I don't have that much intense attachment - I am more like an equal and we keep it sort of strictly professional relationship. There is a very clear and unambiguous relationship that I have with her. I do now know anything about her - not even her age, and we don't have intense feelings for each other. I think both of us feel good about each other, and I admire her professional capacity, and she respects my efforts, openness, and insights I have into myself - but beyond that there is no relationship as individual persons. In a way, it should have been that way with my ex T. And I think perhaps he viewed me as that from the beginning - he must have respected the efforts that I am putting in getting better, and he must have appreciated my openness etc. But I think he didn't bond with me as a person. And I failed to see that with him because of my transference. But now, I am beginning to realize that with my current T, that I also haven't bonded with her as a person, and I ought to have perhaps treated my ex T in the same light. It is almost like a second chance for me to see things in a different perspective, and I think it helps. For some reason, with my ex T, I always saw him as a person, rather than as a professional, and consequently I developed all these feelings and wanted his friendship. So in that way, it is helping me close down with him mentally also.
My plans to India are a little shaky now. For some reason (not even known to me !!), my husband is backing off a little. He wants to first go and try a brief vacation and then come back for a few weeks here and then resign our jobs.. He doesn't want to resign and go. So we are leaving in the later half of August for a month or a little longer vacation, and then we would be coming back to the US for a few weeks, and then we would shift for good. WE are vacating the apartment etc now itself, but just keeping our jobs for now. Thanks for asking !!
> Hey Pinkeye,
>
> It's good to see that you're making so much progress with your ex-T issues.
>
> > He was allright - some good things, some bad things - in some ways he was an extremely good person and a good T and in some way, he was an extremely awful person and an awful T - like everyone else. But he is just human - like me, and no better, no worse. In a way, I am glad he made all these mistakes with me - it made me realize my own worth by knowing that everyone is just as good/ or as bad as me.
>
> I really like what you said there. It makes so much sense.
>
> > I felt it will be good to close it. That chapter is over now.
>
> Do you feel that doing termination with your current T is helping you to process the termination with your ex-T? It sounds as if you're making a lot of progress at the moment.
>
> I was thinking about you earlier today and wondering when you're gonig back to India... Is it very soon? Will you still be able to post here?
>
> Tamar
>
>
Posted by pinkeye on July 26, 2005, at 16:41:08
In reply to Re: My Last Post about my EX T. » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on July 26, 2005, at 15:43:08
I forgot to answer your other question of if I will be able to post here - I will have access to internet - but maybe not as much as here if I am not in a job and if I am in vacation. The internet connection is pretty slow in my home, and there will also be a huge time difference - so by the time I get to some posts, the thread might have ended already. I also may not have that much privacy at work if I take up a job there, so I may not be able to write here that much. But I think I might be able to check in every few days atleast.
This is the end of the thread.
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