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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by annierose on July 21, 2005, at 22:57:05
Well, my T has been on vacation for 2 weeks, and I'll get to see her again on Tuesday, sigh.
The past 2 weeks were fairly non-eventful and I was happy that nothing pressing happened. But today I knew my emotional state was slighly amiss when I cried in the dentist chair getting a crown made for my (insert expletive here)tooth. After the 2 1/2 hour procedure from H*ll, I got into my car and had myself a nice cry.
I usually have a therapy appointment on Friday. I wish I could tell her about my rotten day and she would know just what to say. My husband is in New York for business :( ... but my son (6 years) was extremely kind to me tonight. He offered to rub my back and to sleep with his blankie. My daughter made me tea. I wanted a glass of wine.
I guess what I realized from her vacation, is that I really find comfort with her. Not a major realization, but one nonetheless. I'm looking forward to her return.
Posted by daisym on July 22, 2005, at 1:46:47
In reply to two weeks down, five days to go ..., posted by annierose on July 21, 2005, at 22:57:05
You are doing really well, I hope the next 5 days go quickly. It is sort of nice to miss her in that bitter-sweet way, not the all-is-falling-apart way I felt. But it does reaffirm, it sounds like, that you need her and find her comforting. What a nice, concrete thing to know.
I think your son gets extra cookies for offering to share his blanket. What a sweetheart! And your daughter too, for making you tea. Nice stand in caretakers you have there!
I hope your day tomorrow is better than today. Hang in there, Tuesday is coming!
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 5:44:40
In reply to two weeks down, five days to go ..., posted by annierose on July 21, 2005, at 22:57:05
Do you feel like you want to see her rather than need to see her?
My therapist keeps saying that's an ok thing, but I haven't believed him.
Posted by annierose on July 22, 2005, at 6:59:53
In reply to Re: two weeks down, five days to go ... » annierose, posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 5:44:40
Dinah -
Yes, it's definitely more of a want. Although I have zero desire to quit therapy, I realized this week that if it was taken away from me, for completely unknown reasons, I would be okay. But I still have some major issues that I am working on, and I'm glad to have her at my side to complete the work (well, complete isn't exactly the right work ... how about ... to continue the work).
She mentioned before her vacation that I like knowing that she is just there, available. And when she goes away, that comfort isn't there. And that feeling is probably part of the pre-vacation anxiety that I feel. Hmmmm ... my mom was rarely "there" for me, always sleeping, napping, resting, don't bother me, had a headache.
But once her vacation starts, I am truly okay. I think about things I would have shared with her at my following session (if there was one!) or compile a list of things I must remember to tell her. Last summer's break was harder for me.
I do think it's okay to "want" more than "need". I think for you, IMHO, you're afraid if you keep moving forward in therapy, you'll no longer "need" your therapist. Maybe you'll need him in a different way, a different phase of the relationship will blossom. He promised he wouldn't terminate you.Annierose
Posted by annierose on July 22, 2005, at 7:11:51
In reply to Re: two weeks down, five days to go ..., posted by daisym on July 22, 2005, at 1:46:47
Thanks Daisy -
I do like the relationship my T and I have together. With the support of babble, I find that I have the strength to be more open, to say those "how can I ever say this out loud to anybody" words. Compared to the work I did 15 - 20 years ago, with the same therapist, this time, I am not withholding (as much :). I feel closer to her. Oh, and I am not quitting every 4 - 12 months.
Unfortunately, as luck would have it, my regular appointment is on Monday, but I will be away for business. She gave me a time on Tuesday, but still, I was shaking my head looking at the calendar "why!". Tuesday isn't far off at all.
And my mouth feels much better this morning.
Thank you,
Annierose
Posted by Dinah on July 22, 2005, at 8:17:46
In reply to Re: two weeks down, five days to go ... » Dinah, posted by annierose on July 22, 2005, at 6:59:53
Your humble opinion is quite right. I am afraid that I won't need him. And needing him in a different way or wanting him doesn't feel like a pleasant prospect.
(For one thing, therapy gets a bit... boring.)
And, bless him, I always get the urge to snort when he talks about my wanting to see him instead of needing to. Not quite sure what that means, precisely, but I don't think it bodes well for "want".
I need to need him the same way, or he can't give me the same things he gives me now. Which are, frankly, the things he's best at giving me.
But I think it sounds absolutely wonderful when someone else moves forward in therapy to the stage it sounds like you're at! It sounds so healthy in others. But scary for *me*.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2005, at 10:19:59
In reply to two weeks down, five days to go ..., posted by annierose on July 21, 2005, at 22:57:05
I'm glad you are doing well while your T is on vacation. My T is taking vacation for two weeks the week after next. Sigh, after two years and now going two times per week, I'm not sure how it will go. You sound very positive, 'cept for the tooth thing.
I did exactly the same thing after a crown experience. My teeth were very sensitive that day, and they didn't give me any novacaine. Oh my, I hung together as best I could while in the chair, and then I cried and cried in my car and later at home. It's really tough, isn't it?
I'm glad you have such lovely children there to step in and offer comfort on this occasion. Hmmm, they must have learned that somewhere, eh?
Take care,
gg
Posted by Annierose on July 22, 2005, at 13:04:47
In reply to Re: two weeks down, five days to go ... » annierose, posted by gardenergirl on July 22, 2005, at 10:19:59
I'm feeling better, just a little blue ... my teeth, my sore gums, and I got mad at my kids this morning for fighting ("he's making faces at me", "she spilled my juice," "mom, he called me stupid..."). I couldn't take it anymore and told them so. Ahhh ... that's a different subject for a different thread.
Anyway, I got my period, so that explains my sensitive emotional state and nerve endings. I am so looking forward to therapy once again, but then I leave on vacation (but only for a week).
Well, I best get back to work!
Annierose
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