Shown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:56:27
I've missed you soooo much!
I hope you've been well.
And doing well in therapy (to make this Psych Board related).
Posted by Aphrodite on May 26, 2005, at 21:18:11
In reply to (((Aphrodite))), posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 19:56:27
> I've missed you soooo much!
>
> I hope you've been well.
>
> And doing well in therapy (to make this Psych Board related).Thanks, Dinah! You're always so sweet.
Not doing to well, I'm afraid. A depressive episode for the first time ever has lowered my functioning. I missed 4 days of work, more than the previous 4 years combined. Some days I could log on to read, but that took a lot of psychic energy. I've been pretty anhedonic, which is new and scary for me. We've had beautiful weather and that is always a life-saver for me as I love to be outdoors. However, I would sit staring out of my window thinking, "I remember liking this. I know I do." But I couldn't feel it all or conjure up those feelings through memories. I wasn't tempted to enjoy anything at all.
And therapy (to keep this psych board related as you said) has not been available as a support for various benign reasons, mostly scheduling, but also my fear of being "too much" for my already overworked T. When I need therapy the most, when things are most frightening, I tell him, "Really busy at work! I'll call when I can." and he believes me because I have a demanding career:( When I snap out of this, I plan to tell him my deceptive self-protection so he can call me on it in the future. It's so scary to lose that lifeline.
Are you sorry you asked? Things are getting better, though. I see more hope than I did yesterday, and I hope to see more tomorrow. Thanks so much for caring.
Posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 21:25:31
In reply to Re: (((Aphrodite))), posted by Aphrodite on May 26, 2005, at 21:18:11
I'm not sweet. Sweet would imply that it isn't totally selfish of me to be glad to see you. Because I really do care, and I miss you when you're not here. (And you have my email as well, you know.)
I'm sorry things are rotten. I always like to think, when people aren't around much, that it's because they're doing so fabulously.
It sounds like a pretty bad episode, though I'm glad it's getting better. Are you taking any medications for the worst of it?
I don't suppose I could coax you into telling your therapist the truth now, could I? My therapist is what holds me together through the roughest patches. I hate to see you without that support. Sometimes "presenting well" really works against our best interests. Not that I've had to worry about that anytime lately.
Take care of yourself, Aphrodite.
Posted by daisym on May 27, 2005, at 0:48:34
In reply to Re: (((Aphrodite))) » Aphrodite, posted by Dinah on May 26, 2005, at 21:25:31
How long do you think it should take before a therapist knows you well enough to stop accepting things at face value?
I realized recently that my therapist now notices answers that seem "too good." I asked him a long time ago to not let me leave therapy suddenly, that I needed to be saved from myself. So he does this in a way that isn't confrontational but instead results in a dialog of "do you really want to cancel" and him saying, "I don't think it is a good idea for you to pull back." He always lets me know it is my choice, but he also helps me look at it, which is good.
The most recent thing I thought I got away with was my reaction to his upcoming vacation. He said, "I want to let you know that I'll be gone for a week in June, on vacation." I said, "oh, OK. You are entitled to breaks too." And that was it. He didn't push it. A week later I was upset and said, "AND YOU ARE LEAVING ME..." He said he was waiting for that, that I had taken the news too well, too passively, making it all OK for him. I said, "that is what I do best." He said "I know. Which is why I watch closely."
So much for getting away with things! But I do think it is important to tell on yourself if you can. That way they can help you not be self-destructive.
It would be so much easier if they could just read minds!
This is the end of the thread.
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