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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by grrovymotion on December 12, 2002, at 17:26:28
Extra:
Right now I'm going through some burning chest anxiety and depression. Because all my life Ive been a failure. Period. But at same time I don't know whats happening to me anymore. I live in a part of canada where its usually a six month waiting list just to see a General practioner, and the one I do have is less knowledable than I'm. He wanted to increase my dose of remeron from 30mg. But I now, and did depend on it to sleep, since remeron at lower doses are sedating, but not so at higher. He also thought paxil might be a good idea. But I got extreme start up anxiety and even tremors, with some weird inner disturbance from paxil and prozac. On zoloft my head felt like a toxic waste dump. I don't know what to do. So this is my history:
- Currently anxious, with periods of depression. On Remeron 30 mg, and Neurontin 900 mg.
- Prescribed neurontin in Oct, by a psych at a local General Hospital. For unusual agitation, sleep disturbance, and panic attacks.
– Two days on neurontin progressively reduced agitation and increased sleep, but for a few days afterwards experienced periods (hours) of some mild and not so mild euphoria, internal speeding that soon included extreme irritability and impatience; and then a constant energy level that grew into extended panic state, with some paranoia, but which I managed to fight off for the most part by “talking myself down”.
– Normalized at end of first week of neurontin treatment. Thank God! But one month later, extreme abdominal cramps with vomitting for 24 hours. Hospital did tests, not conclusive.
- History (a recap, or longer explanation of the above) that led me to the Hospital: First six or seven months on Remeron- sluggish. The remeron did take the negative edge off my thoughts, and took away most of ocd intrusive thoughts.
– By Spring, in terms of energy level I slowly picked up- some drive too, wrote several movie scripts. Later, at end of Summer seeing slight increase in restlessness and panic attacks, some agoraphobia and (hypochrodria?) sensitivity to bodily changes, etc: mixing Remeron and alcohol, once from coffee, some abandonment anxiety when I couldn’t find father in van. Obsessive inner debates, over free will vs. determinism however lessened at summer’s end. But bad anticipatory anxiety before I went thru’ customs, terrified of being charged GST tax on my stuff; then: a panic attack on train, from agoraphobia.
– Sept to Oct of this year, became a little more restless. More on the go. Lost some of my optimism from the spring. Some short periods of depression, more than usual. More panic attacks. Late at night sometimes hyper-alertness, self-awareness and anxiety. One time after playing video game I took the adrenaline rush out into street,and felt on survival mode.
– Then in mid October, two days of a strange physical sense of being slowed down. Sometimes I thought I had weak feet.
– Two days afterwards, suddenly woke up night oddly stimulated- much like a milder version of an SSRII trial. Some inner ear disturbance. Series of short vivid dreams, all occuring in one hour, marked sleep disturbance, wake up “alerted” off and on. Some mind noise or rapidly passing thoughts ocuring at bedtime, while in half conscious sleep state. But stopped when I got up. I was afraid to sleep!
– Then by late morning extremely agitated; Major panic attack, some unusual anger or irritability. I was frightened of the anger, talked myself down. Called taxi and rushed to hospital, where I eventually calmed down by the afternoon. But it was a 6 hour wait at the hospital.
Two years ago I went thru something similiar, but not as intense. It seems, that as I get older, my depression becomes more common and my anxiety more unliveable. Part of it is that Im not young anymore and I can only see failure ahead. My parents will one day die. Who will be there for me?
It is important to add, that I suffer from a uptight, slightly guarded personality, with the worries and pessimism of a Generalized anxiety disorder. In short, it is hard for me to enjoy the moment. Plus in social situations I experience some racing thoughts, and uncomfortableness if they are strangers. I live off my parents, have no girlfriend. In short, my life really sucks. Frankly, I'm getting tired of continuing of "surviving". I've been trying to get on the waiting list for the psych. But its a long wait. Three Years!
Posted by Dinah on December 12, 2002, at 18:44:28
In reply to What the Hell is this?, posted by grrovymotion on December 12, 2002, at 17:26:28
Boy, next time someone complains about U.S. healthcare I'm going to pull out all the Canadian and U.K. posts about lack of choice and waiting time.
I suppose that since you have no chance of seeing a therapist any time soon, that you might want to check out some books on cognitive behavior therapy. Something along the lines of "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" or David Burns.
You also might want to post the medication part of your post on the medication board.
Posted by Mikhail99 on December 13, 2002, at 9:02:01
In reply to What the Hell is this?, posted by grrovymotion on December 12, 2002, at 17:26:28
> Part of it is that Im not young anymore and I can only see failure ahead. My parents will one day die. Who will be there for me?
> It is important to add, that I suffer from a uptight, slightly guarded personality, with the worries and pessimism of a Generalized anxiety disorder. In short, it is hard for me to enjoy the moment. Plus in social situations I experience some racing thoughts, and uncomfortableness if they are strangers. I live off my parents, have no girlfriend. In short, my life really sucks. Frankly, I'm getting tired of continuing of "surviving". I've been trying to get on the waiting list for the psych. But its a long wait. Three Years!
>Much of what you wrote in the last part of your post describes exactly how I've been feeling for the past 6 months. I only tell you that so maybe you don't feel so alone. I know sometimes when I'm feeling at my worst, I look around at all the "normal" people and think I must be the only one with these awful thoughts.
I 2nd Dinah's statement about Canadian healthcare! And her recommendation for the Anxiety workbook. I have it and it's been very helpful. I don't know much about the healthcare situation there, you said you had to wait three years for a shrink? Is the wait the same for any kind of therapist?
Posted by daizy on December 13, 2002, at 11:54:31
In reply to What the Hell is this?, posted by grrovymotion on December 12, 2002, at 17:26:28
Hi1 Im going throught what sounds exactly the same as you, kinda like a vicious circle. Th waiting lists are very long here in the u.k. It is really horrible, and its a desperate situation to be in. i got reccomended to read this book too, so hope that might help. you should look on Psycho-babble, ive been chatting and readin the stuff on there it helps, people have a lot of advise to give.
Posted by daizy on December 14, 2002, at 10:21:23
In reply to Re: What the Hell is this?, posted by daizy on December 13, 2002, at 11:54:31
Wondered how you were getting on? Has anything changed for you? Im still in the same way. Having almost no sleep at all, very bad dreams. Waiting for doctors and therapy on tuesday, cant come soon enough. Hope you are well!
Posted by grrovymotion on December 14, 2002, at 22:04:56
In reply to Re: What the Hell is this?, posted by daizy on December 14, 2002, at 10:21:23
I dont know how long I will have to wait, could be a long, long time. But I know if things get bad I'll do what many people are forced to do, go through emergency at the local hospital, there if you bitch they have to help you; I'll wait 4-6 hours but I'll get in. Thats the only way around the system where I'am. When I was in the states I could get a psych in one week, but it cost alot.
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