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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 2 of 2. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deets on November 11, 2002, at 18:11:03
I've been reading on another message board that many people experience a deep attatchment to their therapist. I myself feel that I love (in a mother-figure/someone-I-can-depend-on sort of way) my therapist. Do therapists ever think about their clients outside of the office? Do they ever feel attatched to their clients? What do all of you think? I'd love to hear from any therapists or anyone friends of therapists out there as well!
Posted by Pfinstegg on November 11, 2002, at 19:50:13
In reply to Attatchment to therapist, posted by deets on November 11, 2002, at 18:11:03
Yes, I think that patients do frequently become important to their therapists, and I think patients have a sense that this is so. They aren't going to show it in the way that an affectionate friend would, as that would interfere with the conduct of the therapy. One of the biggest issues in most therapies are the terrible fears we have of not being loved- and of being abandonned, and we are never going to be helped by re-assurances along these lines. We have to understand the origins of those feelings, while experiencing the therapist's steadfast presence through all the tough times.
As I mentioned above, my therapist from 30 years ago and I have stayed in touch, mainly by Christmas card and an occasional note. It means a lot to me, and he also expresses delight in knowing the details of my life as they have unfolded. He has expressed happiness for me when I got married, when my son was born, and when good things happened in my career or social and professional interests, but he also shares some details of his own life, like the birth of grandchildren, and a little about professional achievements and things that he has been enjoying. The contact is initiated by me, always, but he is always responsive, and has written, "I think of you fondly" and other warm, supportive things. And he was the toughest therapist ever- as you'll see by my posts in the thread above! Therapy is, as we all know, such an intense and unique relationship, and I believe it is meaningful to the therapists as well as to us. Of course, when we are going through it, and expressing all of our unfulfilled longings for loving, tuned-in parents, we do get gently rebuffed and urged to integrate and understand those feelings, but still, I think the connection is real on both sides. It's just that they can't give us what we want when we are in therapy- which is the kitchen sink and everything else along with it!Pfinstegg
This is the end of the thread.
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