![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 20:52:33
Ok -- I printed out my first message (from original post, _feeling p***ed off at therapist_) and showed it to my therapist tonight. She took it very seriously, and told me that she has not meant at all to belittle what I'm going through. She said that she believes that I'm having my symptoms, and that she feels frustrated over not knowing what to do about them -- that she feels that she can support me on my anxiety over it and dealing with the associated changes. She feels that I did have a blazing mind before and _have_ obviously lost something, even if neuropsych testing shows me as normal.
She says that she completely supports the efforts I've made to support myself through natural changes (such as visiting a naturopatch to learn about positive dietary changes, exercising regularly, etc.). But, that the reason she at times seems less than enthusiastic about my efforts to see doctors is that every time I go, I return more stressed out because doctors still can't figure out what's going on. She says that it doesn't make sense for me to waste money on medical exams that haven't done a thing for me. But, she did support my seeing a specialist (a neuro-immunologist) who has more experience with the symptoms I'm having.
Once that was out of the way, I felt that I was able to let go of some resentment and really open about. We were able to talk about what I'm going through and how to deal with it at this moment.
So, in the end, I felt quite relieved. I feel that we are on the same page about what I need and that I will still be getting the support I need in the long run.
This was really scary to bring up, and I thought about it for days in advance. I am glad that I printed out the note, because I think it was easier to explain myself in the note than it would have been in person in words.
So, anyone else out there who feels upset with your therapist, I suggest confronting them about it. At least, it paid off for me.
bookgurl99
Posted by Dinah on September 10, 2002, at 23:14:17
In reply to update on feeling p***ed off at therapist, posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 20:52:33
That's fabulous bookgurl. And it's just what I've discovered with my own therapist. I do the print out PB posts, or write letters to him thing a lot, perhaps less now than before. But I've always found it to be immensely helpful.
And I always feel better when we've discussed things in a way that leads to a satisfactory development to both of us, and a deepening of trust and intimacy.
Congratulations.
Dinah
Posted by Mark H. on September 14, 2002, at 1:08:07
In reply to update on feeling p***ed off at therapist, posted by bookgurl99 on September 10, 2002, at 20:52:33
Hi Bookgurl,
I have a sign on my monitor at work with several things I need to remind myself of fairly often. One of them is this:
Ask more -- speculate less.
I can spin stuff out in my mind until I've driven myself quite mad with possibilities, yet often the misunderstandings and mismatches of intent can be cleared up in a few minutes if I override my sense of being wronged and simply ask about what I want to know. (It may be "simple," but that doesn't mean it is easy.)
One of the adjustments I needed to make in my behavior in relationship, for instance, was to stop asking, "Are you OK?" and to start asking instead, "Am I OK with you?" The latter leaves it open for the person to affirm my OK-ness, with or without qualifications, or to confirm my sense of things being out of sorts, should that be the case. Either way, I'm better off to have my insecurity out in the open to discuss, rather than defensively projecting it on my partner.
I admire your courage in confronting your therapist AND in sharing the fact as an encouragement to the rest of us to do the same. Therapists have stuff going on on different levels as well, and a client like you who is clear and direct can help the therapist get back on track, even if she had erred in the recent past. It's a form of values clarification that is particularly powerful and very healthy.
Keep up the good work, Bookgurl.
With appreciation,
Mark H.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Psychology | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.