![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on July 13, 2006, at 21:19:52
OK, so I've seen that most people who tried could come up with something we liked about ourselves -- even if one of us kinda hedged the self compliment a bit (think I didn't notice?) -- so what's the next step?
I'm thinking that maybe coming up with a response to our negative self talk might be helpful. Things like, when I say to myself that I've got a hugely fat belly, I could respond by saying to myself something like, "that might be true, but it doesn't matter, because you can speak Cat." Does that make sense to anyone else?
So, when you start into negative self talk, what could you say to yourself to counter it with something positive? (Yes, Poet -- you do have to play on this round. You know why? Because you're my friend, and I like you. I'd like some company in that, you know? I want you to like you, too...)
I'll try to start, but it's got to be another post, since I can't think of anything now, and my husband just walked in...
Posted by Declan on July 13, 2006, at 21:34:54
In reply to Ways to combat negative self talk?, posted by Racer on July 13, 2006, at 21:19:52
I think you just kinda listen to the thought, give it a hug, and let it run out of the room (if possible).
Posted by Phillipa on July 13, 2006, at 21:50:14
In reply to Re: Ways to combat negative self talk?, posted by Declan on July 13, 2006, at 21:34:54
Isn't that what CBT is? Counter a negative thought with a poitive one? Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on July 14, 2006, at 1:26:47
In reply to Ways to combat negative self talk?, posted by Racer on July 13, 2006, at 21:19:52
they don't just come in the door, but through the windows and the walls, there are more of them than you, and you can't hear yourself think, what then? Still, nonresistance is such a constant in so many traditions. I can't believe it's the right thing to do to argue with them.
(But why not? Isn't that what therapy is about?)
Or you could zap them with something, which is what I did.
Posted by Jost on July 14, 2006, at 22:00:24
In reply to But what if...., posted by Declan on July 14, 2006, at 1:26:47
It is important to argue with them, or find another, better thought to take their place.
You need to take a stand-- maybe not arguing, but moving away from identification with the bad thought, and opening up a space for something better.
It could be different things. Probably everyone has their own personal approach.
Sometimes I just say to myself, "I can do it" "I can do it" a lot of times, and for some reason that phrase really has traction with me. Don't know why-- but it does. It's a bit irrational, but I find that that phrase just works--even if there's no particular thing that I'm trying to do--except believe that I'm not a failure, or useless, or whatever.
And if I stick with it, and put my thoughts more and more into the feeling it gives me, it carries me to a different place.
Jost
Posted by ClearSkies on July 15, 2006, at 5:41:57
In reply to Re: But what if...., posted by Jost on July 14, 2006, at 22:00:24
> Sometimes I just say to myself, "I can do it" "I can do it" a lot of times, and for some reason that phrase really has traction with me. Don't know why-- but it does. It's a bit irrational, but I find that that phrase just works--even if there's no particular thing that I'm trying to do--except believe that I'm not a failure, or useless, or whatever.
>
Positive mantras definitely work! I too find it kind of silly but when I incorporate a simple, positive mantra into my meditations, I feel better.
ClearSkies
Posted by Racer on July 15, 2006, at 16:16:01
In reply to But what if...., posted by Declan on July 14, 2006, at 1:26:47
> Still, nonresistance is such a constant in so many traditions. I can't believe it's the right thing to do to argue with them.
I don't think non-resistance or arguing are the right choices FOR ME, but then I haven't found much that does work so far, either. Non-resistance is just not something I'm good at -- I resist. Almost doesn't matter what you're talking about, chances are, I'll resist it. (Although I work on that...)
I think it's too easy for me, if I'm trying to argue against the [expletive deleted] that I do to myself, to fall back into the "but it's not [expletive deleted] -- it's TRUE!" That's not helpful. What seems to be helping -- and I notice my T does this sometimes, too, so maybe I'm on to something -- is to say, "OK, and if that is true, what then?" I'm not sure why that helps when it does help, but sometimes it does seem to help a bit.
If nothing else, it does help clarify the issue...
Posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2006, at 17:24:27
In reply to Re: But what if.... » Jost, posted by ClearSkies on July 15, 2006, at 5:41:57
I've always used the Nike comercial. Just Do IT!!!! That way I end up doing something I may not have done. At least it works excercise way when I'm making excuses why I don't want to excercise.
And a mantra is good in meditation. But I can't sit still long enough to. So instead the mantra is when I'm excersicing. Well that's just me. Love Phillipa
Posted by TexasChic on July 15, 2006, at 18:56:21
In reply to Re: But what if.... » ClearSkies, posted by Phillipa on July 15, 2006, at 17:24:27
I tell myself that if 'they' can do it, then I can too.
-T
Posted by Declan on July 15, 2006, at 19:15:42
In reply to Re: Ways to combat negative self talk?, posted by TexasChic on July 15, 2006, at 18:56:21
The way for me to deal with fear and establish boundaries is to get in touch with my anger.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Self-Esteem | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.