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Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 6, 2012, at 16:27:39
euphoria is good feeling, usally from being high on life and taking mind altering stuff that increases nuerons. Dyphoria is opposite its feeling like sh*t all the time. I gotta right now i feel so bad...like the day is hard to even go through, i can't sleep, but at the same i don't want to be with reality. i take nuvigil, coffee...it has limited effect, and then i end up feeling like sh*t...i can't even get the mindpower to get on google on read about investment 101 i have been urging myself to do so I can know about it if I do get envolved with the stock market....that and study on lucifer....i've said that too many times, but that's what I do...investments for the future. Right now I feel unstable...bad mood...not enough energy and low motivation and that's why I mourn at night because i feel inferior to even do simple tasks.
ugh...that thing sitting on the top of my head called the brain is such a POS for me...its always been slow, not feeling good, unstable. I have tried techniques to do meditation and try to contact the mind from its subcounsious and tell it start fixin all these nueron imbalances...it work, one time I was tryin to get sleep after I stupidly had a redbull 2 hours before...i kept tellin it to activate the GABA and relazation feeling...and I have to say it wasnt like a drug, but it natrually did it...so I do know that it does work....but its vary hard and it gets on my nerves because its complicated to do.
I just wished I was a good mood person, felt energy and zest to live. I have to pretend I do...but it always falls off...
well anyways, another yakkin post, i just got to vent at least tell someone what is going on with me. Real life...never tell anyone about this exept the doctor and maybe close friends.
thanks for reading...
r
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