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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by CK1 on November 1, 2005, at 23:58:17
Is there a medication that can reproduce the effects of alcohol and cigarettes combined? I really think it raises dopamine levels. I think a 6 pack and a few cigs will help any depression, if only for a few hours. It's certainly helping me at this moment. Yes, I'm slightly drunk and buzzing.
I'm upset that I had to stop Nardil so I decided to have a few drinks and smoke a few cigs. I feel very calm and mellow right now, but tomorrow's a different story.
I believe my doctor was correct in labeling me bipolar II. I have yet to try any mood stabilizers combined with an SSRI nor atyipcal antipyschotics. I had great success with Paxil for 3 years until it stopped working 8 months ago. Since then, I've tried Effexor, Zoloft, Prozac, and Nardil and nothing has worked. My doctor wants to put me on Seroquel + Paxil to regain it's effectiveness, but after my recent med trials, I do not have any expectations at all. The first antidepressant I was ever on worked so well so I never thought anyone could be "treatment resistant". Boy, was I wrong! 3 years filled with accomplishments, tons of friends, excitement, girls, photographic achievements, wonderful memories, unmatched happiness, have come and gone, leaving me with a feeling of utter hopelessness. This board is filled with people who have gone years without finding the right meds and those who are still in a state of misery despite running the gamut of psychotropic medications. This, in itself, strikes fear in me. My father is a surgeon, I had a wonderful childhood and was always considered one of the "cool" kids in high school, played golf tournaments all around the nation with hopes of being on the PGA Tour, have great talent in photography, am good looking, hung around celebrities/models all summer in New York, and, from the outside, seem like one without any worries in the world.
I have found that no matter how good looking, how much money you have, and how talented one is, depression and anxiety can still pervade one's life. It (depression/anxiety) comes without a face, striking without a due cause, having the potential to disrupt even a seemingly "wonderful" life.
When I was on Paxil, I was always on the prowl for hot girl to take out and my confidence was unmatched. I felt great and feeling great brings opportunites to you. I'm so angry at Paxil for failing me in the long-run. I'm reading my journals at the moment and am now realizing that the good times were simply an ephemeral, fleeting, untangled freedom, that simply hasn't the ability to last long-term.
When medicines that bring such hope "poop out", it is such a feeling of despair. I have been searching for an answer for 9 months, but nothing has come to plate to remedy this situation. I realize that there are many more meds to try, but I truly don't understand why it's this hard to find happiness and confidence. Remission followed by poop out, followed by more trials, followed by poop out, seems to be the average case on this board, if not in the real world. Long-term happiness was my goal but, now, this seems an impossibility.Nardil, which I thought to be my "potential" savior has failed me, so I'm a bit discouraged if not hesistant to try any further meds, yet I will for the mere "chance" of feeling "great" again.
Ok. Enough for now. Thanks for listening to my story and my quest for "happiness" wherever that may be. Two week washout from Nardil and more meds. I want "that feeling" back!
CK
Posted by CK1 on November 2, 2005, at 9:46:56
In reply to Alcohol and Cigs - please read, posted by CK1 on November 1, 2005, at 23:58:17
Wow.....this post seems so stupid and vein reading it the next morning. Sorry guys! I was in one of those moods where I wanted to "tell all". I feel stupid now for posting it!
Posted by Phillipa on November 4, 2005, at 21:18:29
In reply to Re: Alcohol and Cigs - please read, posted by CK1 on November 2, 2005, at 9:46:56
CKl, late response. But I'm in total agreement with you. you'll see when you read my Babblemail to you Love Phillipa/Jan
Posted by Iansf on November 5, 2005, at 19:04:04
In reply to Re: Alcohol and Cigs - please read, posted by CK1 on November 2, 2005, at 9:46:56
> Wow.....this post seems so stupid and vein reading it the next morning. Sorry guys! I was in one of those moods where I wanted to "tell all". I feel stupid now for posting it!
I didn't think your post stupid or vain at all. It WOULD be good if there were a med that could provide what alcohol and nicotine provide, or at least provide some people, without the well-known negatives of those two drugs.. In fact, it would be great. And you're absolutely right. Even people who seem to have it all can suffer from depression. Many people with good incomes, good jobs and loving families have killed themselves because depression prevented them from enjoying what they had. In some ways, "having it all" and still feeling bad is worse than having very little and feeling bad. In the latter case, people can convince themselves that getting a better job, getting financially secure and finding a loving partner would solve the problem if only they could get those things - so there's some hope, even if it seems all but unreachable.But when someone has it all and still doesn't feel happy, what then? Where can they turn? They can't even get sympathy because other people see them as self-centered and ungrateful: "You expect me to feel sorry for you given all you've got? Get real."
They can, of course, afford the best treatment and they have the option of exploring avenues people without money can't. Still, depression is awful no matter what your status or income level. It's a true equal opportunity condition. No matter what your race, your religion, your gender, your sexual orientation or your income, you can suffer from it. The rates may differ for different groups, but no group is completely immune.
This is the end of the thread.
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