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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by johnj on February 11, 2002, at 16:53:29
I am having a terrible time admitting that I need to take AD's. It is especially hard after being pretty stable for almost ten years with minor ups and downs to have to take something stronger. My old AD either pooped out or I am having a set-back. I know the new drugs have less side effects, but man I feel down and SCARED to take something new. Please tell me I am not insane for felling this way. I don't know why, but I have always had a hard time accepting this illness. Anybody have any books that put this in perspective?? Thanks and I hope you all get the healing you need
JohnJ
Posted by Mark H. on February 11, 2002, at 19:53:10
In reply to How does a person handle AD use??, posted by johnj on February 11, 2002, at 16:53:29
John J
I just want to remind you that what you're feeling is a *symptom* of depression that perhaps falls under the broad category of "inappropriate guilt." My symptoms came on shortly after Polly Klaas had been kidnapped, and I woke up at 4 a.m. feeling guilty that I hadn't prevented it (it didn't occur to me at the time how grandiose that thought was).
A year later, when I finally gave up on my GP and went to see a psychiatrist, I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I paid in cash so that the ladies at the Bank of America wouldn't see my check made out to Dr. Tessler.
A few weeks after that, I was put on Effexor and began to improve. As soon as I felt even a little better, I wanted to tell everyone I met what a great experience it had been to work with Dr. Tessler on finding the right medication. The concern I had about seeing a psychiatrist and about taking "drugs" for a "mental problem" just evaporated as soon as I began to feel better.
You're not a bad person for needing to take meds! In fact, when you and your doctor find the right mix for you, you'll regain your positive perspective about the experience and feel mostly gratitude.
You hang in there, OK? This awful feeling will pass.
Best wishes,
Mark H.
Posted by Jess on February 12, 2002, at 13:23:21
In reply to Re: How does a person handle AD use??, posted by Mark H. on February 11, 2002, at 19:53:10
I agree with Mark H.. I didn't take AD's for a long time because I thought "God would heal me". Boy was that a spiral of guilt and self loathing. Anyway, I thought I just wasn't strong enough and if I just tried harder I'd feel better - that only weak people take medicine to emotionally feel better. Then I finally gave in and tried effexor and, like Mark, when it kicked in I decided I never wanted to live the way I had before. It felt like the miracle I was looking for. Good luck!
Posted by Eloy on February 12, 2002, at 13:34:04
In reply to How does a person handle AD use??, posted by johnj on February 11, 2002, at 16:53:29
John, it's our culture here that wrongly makes people who are ill or injured to feel guilty and shame for it. Never mind what people may say, medicine was made to heal people, outside AND INSIDE. i use to struggle with the same self-conscientiousness about being treated for mental illness, but i know now that illness is illness, no matter what it is, and it should not be criticized by others- discrimination/harassment and health damage is still against the law in this land, and people can still be sued and held greatly liable for it. No John, you are not insane, you are not crazy, and you are not a crack-pot just because you hurt inside and need medicine to help you get well. i believe that males have it harder because our culture wrongly teaches "Boys don't cry, only sissies", so we grow up feeling shame when we hurt. You will be okay, just research whatever you're condition is for a better understanding, and also research the medicines you will take for treatment. You should get better.
Posted by Noa on February 12, 2002, at 16:11:54
In reply to Re: How does a person handle AD use??, posted by Eloy on February 12, 2002, at 13:34:04
First of all, it is scary when a med poops out after working for a long while. There has got to be fear of the unknown (how far will this go? will a new med or increase in meds actually help? Am I entering a new phase of uncontrollable depression? What kinds of side effects will I have to contend with with new meds or increase in meds? What's next?) as well as fear of the known-all-too-well (previous experience with depression, etc.).
For me, that fear can be a very big deal, maybe even rivaling the depression itself! After being stable for a while, if I have a setback, I tend to feel, "DAMN! Now what? Is this going to be a downward spiral?"
But poop-out does happen. I don't know if you have watched the PBS series "Secret Life of the Brain". In the episode on feeling and thinking int he adult brain, psychologist/patient Lauren Slater talks about how, on the one hand, she is very lucky to have gotten a dozen good years of remission out of Prozac (and we hear her doctor saying that it is unusual for such a serious depression to respond to one med and for so long), but on the other hand, the dose has had to be raised a lot--starting at 10 mg and now up to 80 mg. And she feels sooner or later it will stop working altogether--which she fears, especially now that she has a young child.
The fact that you had a long period of remission is, I think, a good sign that you will be able to get back into remission again. Just need to tweak the med cocktail a bit, maybe.
hang in there.
This is the end of the thread.
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