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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by CarolAnn on January 5, 2000, at 8:02:28
I don't know if I should put this in a new thread, but I wanted to be sure you would see it.
Regarding your newfound love:
Bless your heart! I am incredibly happy for you! I swear, your bliss came right through your post and actually gave me a little boost of cheer(even got a little teary eyed). You are proof that if love won't stand honesty, then it was never really love. Congratulations on having found the "real thing". Much joy to *both* of you!CarolAnn
Posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 2:06:40
In reply to Note to Adam, posted by CarolAnn on January 5, 2000, at 8:02:28
ditto. :)
love is kick-ass, and honest love is the only real kind. peace to you!
Posted by Adam on January 6, 2000, at 13:57:16
In reply to Re: Note to Adam, posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 2:06:40
Thank you, both of you.
I guess whatever happens I am happy for this new friendship. I've been worried about getting serious with someone so soon after experiencing some relief from depression, as well as some recent angst over prior relationship failures.
But then again, this has been such a gift. Everything of late has been. My life has changed in such profound ways in such a short amount of time I am in a perpetual state of astonishment. I feel badly sometimes even talking about it because I know many people here haven't experienced the relief I have, and are probably sick of hearing about it. The only thing I can hope, if that is the case, is that someone can look at what has happened to me and derive some hope from it, along with the annoyance. I feel quite strongly at this point if I can experience relief, anybody can. It was almost a year ago to the day that I checked myself into the psychiatric ward as Mass. General Hospital, quite at the end of my rope. My physical and emotional state at the time was indescribable. Bone crushing and mind numbing are the only words I usually can find. I can hardly believe it now. I just can't express what the memory of that time stirs up inside of me.
And now...I don't know. I have days I forget, and days I feel a twinge of fear or sadness and a knot forms inside. I never, ever want to go back. I don't know where I got the strength to endure it as long as I did. The "dread of something after death", or rather the nothing, most likely. Not strength really, but paralyzing fear. Whatever it was, I'm glad it at least kept me here.
New friendhips are wonderful, and redeeming. And to be even remotely understood, that has been the suprise and the gift. I would have spoken regardless, but to have been answered with a sad and knowing smile rather than the expected look of discomfort mixed with pity (which I've gotten, by the way)...I just don't have the words for it.
This is the end of the thread.
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